TEotWaWKI False Alert: LQP-79 Virus not cause of Miami Outbreak

•June 3, 2012 • Leave a Comment

This just in from SNOPES:

The attacker was not infected with the LQP-79 Zombie Virus.

You may stand down.

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TEotWaWKI Alert: Possible Zombie Attack in Miami

•May 29, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Miami man shot dead eating a man’s face may have been on LSD variant

An eyewitness said that Eugene was “like a zombie”, tearing off almost all of his victim’s face and growling like a wild animal at an officer who shot him.

Be vigilant!

TEotWaWKI Movie Review: Carriers

•December 13, 2011 • Leave a Comment
Carriers

Carriers

directed by David Pastor and Alex Pastor.

This movie somehow slipped beneath my radar. I only just caught it on NetFlix. How can this be? It’s a great example of behavior during an end of the world event; in this case, a world ravaged by disease. We join the story after the initial catastrophe and follow four characters during the aftermath. What we witness is a good reason why you should focus on the basics before the poop hits the fan.

Why survive?

When you could meet your demise each day, you stop thinking about the long term. Merely surviving becomes the goal rather than a means to achieve one. You don’t want to make it to the promised land only to look around and ask, “What do I do now?” Why do you want to survive?

A survival goal is intensely personal. It could be a desire to make the world a better place for all or just for your children, or even to find a peaceful home where you can indulge in your love for books. Only you can pass judgement on your goal. Is it something for which you’re willing to struggle mightily over a potentially lengthy period of time?

What are you willing do or not do?

This is the end of the world. You’re going to be in situations completely unlike those you faced before. You’re not going to resolve issues by email or scheduling a meeting. Violence may very well be on the agenda. What are you going to do?

As with goals, what means you find acceptable is a personal decision. I’m not going to tell you that you should be able to kill another human being or abandon people that could negatively impact your chances of survival. What I’m telling you is to decide what’s on the table ahead of time.

You don’t want to make these decisions in a critical situation. If killing another human being is off the table, that’s OK. The ability to act immediately in a critical situation based on this prior understanding could be enough to save your life.

Find like-minded companions

These are personal decisions, but they should be discussed openly among your party. Everyone should be roughly on the same page. Radically divergent goals and acceptable means will lead either to the break up of the party or disaster in an encounter with hostiles.

How not to do it.

SPOILER ALERT!

The party we follow in Carriers got it all wrong:

  • They had their rules about interacting with the infected, but one would not abide by them. The rules were so strict that when she herself became infected, she hid that fact.
  • Their rules dictated that they kick out infected members. Seems logical, but not so easy to implement when it gets down to it.
  • The party had a goal, but in the end it seemed hardly worth the price the remaining members had paid.

This is a must see. The heartrending decisions are just the kind of thing you need to consider while you’re not under pressure to do so.

A TEotWaWKI Short Story: The Recovery Crew

•August 7, 2011 • 5 Comments

Zed House

The house creaked in the wind, a tree tapped a metronome against the rotting clapboards.

“Burn it down.”

What?”

“You heard me, burn it to the ground.”

The boss stared at the building for a few seconds, then shook his head. “And waste what could be reclaimed? Why would I want to do that?”

The old man pointed, “Z for Zed. That’s how we marked infected houses back when we thought the outbreak could be contained.”

“That was nearly a decade ago. Even if something’s still there, it’s got to be so desiccated that it’s immobile. The copper alone is worth the risk.”

The old man flicked his toothpick at the house as he turned to walk away, “I won’t allow it, not worth the risk.”

“Wait a minute here! This is not a military operation and, anyways, Colonel, last time I checked, you’re retired. Your presence here is purely consultative.”

He took a step back as the old man advanced on him, ready to cut loose. “What the f…,” the Colonel stopped, reconsidered, looking at the house again. “I guess it doesn’t matter what I say, you’d come back tonight on your own even if I could terminate the project.”

“Well…,” he took off his cap and looked down at the brim. “It would make my life easier if you signed off on this.”

“John, you’re mother would kill me if anything happened to you. I’ll sign off, but only if we do this by the book.”

The kid put his hat back on, resuming his role as boss, “Fine by me.”

#

Clearing a house of the undead is like a slow motion SWAT operation. Zed behaves predictably, so it’s best to take your time. One man kicked the door down while another set the clacker, then they retreated.

“If they’re ambulatory, this shouldn’t take long. I imagine they’re hungry. We’ll give it five minutes.” The old man’s eyes never left the doorway. The dust cloud that seemed to be all that was left of the front door billowed out onto the porch, dissipating in the breeze.

“OK, you know the drill. Let’s do it!”

Four men ambled up the steps, one kneeling to turn off the clacker. Two broke left while the other pair kept watch just inside the door, eyeing the stairs. The shouts of “Clear!” following the pair around the ground floor. A shot rang out, quickly followed by the all clear.

The old man and the boss entered the house. “Was that a live one?”

“No, just wanted to make sure.”

“Cool. Let’s get the basement. John, you stay here, make sure nothing comes down those stairs. The crew can wait outside, off the porch.”

The team was already at work by the time the old man made it to the kitchen. More dust and a jawbone lying on the floor. A skeletal arm, its hand grasping a coffee mug, was still on the table. The urge for some caffeine suddenly strong.

The all clear sounded from below and a rattle/bang from the cellar door out back.

#

John was halfway up the stairs by then, taking careful steps, his semi-automatic at the ready.

He could could see her from the top of the staircase, through the open doorway. She lay on the bed in what must have been her finest dress. She didn’t move.

He stepped into the room, checking the four corners as the Colonel taught him. Stillness, nothing moved but the motes floating through the window pane divided beams of light.

The floor creaked as he moved. She had to have known, if she was still animated. The pendent on her necklace rested on the leather taut across her chest. Coated in dust, it didn’t sparkle, but it still caught his practiced eye. He stepped towards her.

Who are you? What happened? You had time to prepare, there’s no sign of a rush. Was it poison? He reached for the necklace.

“You either hate me or you’re a dumb piece of shit.”

The boy recoiled, letting out a shout. “What the fuck? It ain’t moving without a good dose of WD-40. Don’t go scaring me like that, you crazy mother fucker.”

“You think?” The old man tapped the head with the barrel of his rifle. The eyes shot open, jaw snapping. His shot exploded in the room, shaking dust loose from everywhere. The top half of the skull gone.

He turned and walked out. “I want half of what you get for that necklace.”

###

Here’s another Col. Drinkmore short story: Who Is He?

Preparing for the Undead TEotWaWKI: Advice from the CDC

•May 19, 2011 • Leave a Comment

I’m a firm believer that the government is the only vehicle that allows the people to act as a whole. The CDC is the federal government at its best and their post, Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse, is evidence of that.

CDC: Get a kit, make a plan, be prepared

CDC: Get a kit, make a plan, be prepared

This is good advice. My only complaint is there is no mention of weapons, nor how to assume a more active defense against zombies. However, given the mission of the CDC, I understand.

READ THIS NOW!

TEotWaWKI Book Review: The Official Underground 2012 Doomsday Survival Handbook

•May 9, 2011 • 2 Comments
The Official Underground 2012 Doomsday Survival Handbook by W. H. Mumfrey

The Official Underground 2012 Doomsday Survival Handbook by W. H. Mumfrey

by W. H. Mumfrey

I really wanted to like this book. My daughter bought it for me as a birthday present. I was touched that she takes my interest in the subject of TEotWaWKI survival seriously. I am also fascinated by the Mayan prophesy that the world will end on December 21, 2012, despite that god awful movie. This should have been a sure hit.

And it was, for the first half of the book. The author surveys the various end-of-times prophesies in world history and then explores the Mayan story. This is a worthwhile read. I especially like the section on how to become an effective prophet. Hysterical, yet true. If only Mr. Mumfrey left it at this.

  1. Where was the editor?

    Nothing kills a book faster for me than poorly written prose. I can understand the occasional error, but, c’mon! Doing so repeatedly kills your credibility.

    When it comes to acts of barbarity, few can surpass those that profess sanctity.

    Who is for people and That is for things. Ugh!

  2. What’s with the militant vegetarianism?

    Yes, that’s right. In a book about the end of the world, the author repeatedly pokes those who eat meat.

    The term cognitive dissonance is used to explain the uncomfortable feeling caused by holding two contradictory ideas at the same time, such as . . . believing in animal rights, but eating meat.

    and

    Do you give a moment’s thought to the concentration camp living conditions and terror-stricken deaths of the animals you eat?

    Perhaps there might be some gray area between the two extremes of vegetarianism and industrial food production?

  3. The lost focus dooms the book.

    After the great start, the author then outlines what it would take to survive the end of the world. OK, fine, but he delves into every possible scenario. You can’t do that in a single book, much less the final 100 pages of this one. While I give him kudos for exploring how to live in the new world as we will know it, does he really have to tell us how to setup a government and start a new religion? I understand he’s trying to humorous here, but there’s far too many books out there already that map out these survival techniques. This just makes him one of a crowd.

So, read this if 2012 is of great interest to you. Do take notes because there is some good advice here (Mormons are required by their religion to stock up on supplies for the end of the world. I’m just saying.). You can tune out after 100 pages or so, though.

TEotWaWKI Photo: Old Green Barn

•April 28, 2011 • 2 Comments

Old Green Barn

I’ve decided to document the last vestiges of life before the catastrophe. Given that there’s only 10% of us left, there’s a lot of abandoned places out there that have been left to return to the dust from which they came. This barn is a classic example. It looks like it would fall apart in a stiff breeze. You certainly couldn’t refurbish it. Yet, I wouldn’t tear it down. It’s a haunting reminder of life as it used to be.

 
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